The Nature of Drowning

I cannot seem to stop sweating. Walking up the stairs, opening the door, feeding the cats, laying down to read: my shirt sticks to my back and I feel the uncanny tickle from sweat running down my ribcage.

I am very warm. I don’t know when I started to burn up. I don’t really remember yesterday or even hours ago. I just know that I am warm. There is heat coming from the floorboards that I cannot control, so I opened every window. It is below freezing outside. I am currently standing by the window letting the freezing wind off of the ocean crash against my naked chest.

I move from the window and turn the faucet on its coldest setting. There is a stack of dishes in the sink. I am going to clean them to try and get my mind off of the heat. I don’t remember being here long enough to accumulate so many dishes, but they are here. I reach into the sink to grab the sponge and when the water touches my skin it begins to bubble. As I wash, the water begins to get hotter from touching my body. My hands start to burn. I turn off the faucet and walk back to the window, putting my hands against the mesh screen.

In the living room, I stare at the wall. There are two objects nailed at each end. One is a vertical light bar that looks like a fluorescent bulb. The light pulsates a bright white throughout the day. On the other side, there is a frame that has eight pictures. I am in the pictures, but I don’t remember anyone that is in them with me. The sweat is dripping down my forehead and running past my eyes. I stare until there is a puddle at my feet. The cat stands at the window looking at me. When I turn my attention, he turns to look out the window at something that I can’t see through the darkness.

I saw my phone sitting on the table and picked it up. I scrolled through the names, but couldn’t find one I recognized. I picked a name at random and called. The phone rang several times before a man picked up.

Hello?
I’m burning up. I can’t stop sweating.
Hello.
Please help me.
What can I do? I don’t even know where you are.
I’m by the beach somewhere. I don’t know. Please get someone.
Have you thought about water?
The water boils. The water boils!

The phone clicked off.

I got on my bike and rode through the rain. The little drops hit me and burned like acid on my skin. I couldn’t take it. I looked down at my arms and saw little red circles wherever my arm was exposed. The sweat was rolling down my face.

I parked the bike in the back of the apartment building. I looked toward the sky. I closed my eyes and ran.

I moved past the dark bodies on the boardwalk. I slipped down the bloated wooden stairs toward the beach. I kicked sand into the air as I made my way toward the freezing ocean. I didn’t stop when my feet touched the water. I didn’t stop as I felt the water kicking up and hitting my stomach. I didn’t stop when the water began working against my legs.

I am fully submerged. The ocean is dark with little white clouds of fog bouncing under the water. I am boiling. I feel that my skin is melting off.